relieve anxiety and depression

First give up the obsession of "getting better immediately" to accept your emotions, and then choose an appropriate adjustment method based on your own condition. When the condition reaches a moderate to severe degree, seek medical or professional psychological intervention as soon as possible. It is far more effective than trying to cope with it, drinking "chicken soup for the soul" or copying the methods of Internet celebrities.

I just received a girl who works in operations at a major Internet company last week. The first thing she said when she entered the door was "I have been practicing mindfulness with the blogger for three months. Why do I still hide in the toilet and cry every day when I think about going to work?" After looking through her time card, I found out that every time she did mindfulness, she set a KPI for herself of "you must be idle for 15 minutes". She scolded herself when she lost her mind. It was useless. The exercise originally used to relieve anxiety had turned into a new source of stress.

This situation is actually quite common. Practitioners of different schools have very different ideas on how to deal with emotions: a cognitive behavioral (CBT) counselor may first help her break down that "mindfulness must be empty" is a misunderstanding. The essence of the practice is to allow distracting thoughts to come and go, without having to compete with yourself. ； But a psychodynamic counselor may not rush to correct her behavior. Instead, he will talk to her first, why are you so afraid that you "can't do it well"? Ever since you were a child, have you received the feedback that “you only deserve to be loved if you are perfect”? No one's method is better, only the one that suits you is useful.

Don’t think that anxiety and depression are all caused by “thinking too much.” There have long been clear research conclusions in the field of neuroscience: For people who have been anxious and depressed for a long time, the secretion levels of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine in the brain will indeed be different from the healthy state. This cannot be reversed by “thinking a little bit more”. I once met a boy who was diagnosed with moderate depression. At first he refused to take medicine, thinking that "taking medicine means he is mentally ill." Later, he couldn't bear it and went to see a psychiatrist. After taking medicine for two weeks, he told me, "It turns out that the emotions that overwhelmed me before were really not me being pretentious, but just a problem with a small part of my brain." Therefore, many clinicians now recommend that for moderate or above mood disorders, first take medication to adjust neurotransmitter levels as directed by the doctor, and then cooperate with psychological treatment, the effect will be much better.

There is a hotly debated topic on the Internet right now: Should we force ourselves to move when we are suffering from anxiety and depression? People on both sides were quarreling. Those who support it point out a lot of research data, saying that continuous aerobic exercise can promote the secretion of endorphins, and the improvement rate of mild to moderate depression is even as good as some antidepressants. ； Those who objected were also aggrieved, "I can't even get out of bed and I don't even bother to wash my face. If you ask me to run three kilometers, won't it make me stand and talk without backache?" ” In fact, both sides are right. There is really nothing to argue about. If you are just a little unmotivated right now, going out for a ten-minute walk is really more useful than lying at home and watching short videos that make you more anxious. ； But if you have been lying down for three days and don’t even have the energy to drink water, forcing yourself to go out will only deepen the frustration of “I can’t even do this.” At this time, even if you just move from bed to sofa, it is worth praising yourself for your progress.

I have a senior who has been doing psychological counseling for 12 years. When I occasionally have anxiety attacks, I will not force myself to do any professional relaxation training at all. I will move a small stool and squat on the balcony to play with dead leaves for succulents. After doing it for 20 to 30 minutes, my mood gradually calms down. There is also a girl who was previously diagnosed with severe depression. She tried mindfulness, exercise, and keeping an emotional diary, all of which were popular online methods, but to no avail. Finally, she signed up for a pottery hobby class. Every time her hands were filled with mud and she kneaded them crookedly, she felt that all the messy thoughts in her mind had disappeared. She persisted for more than half a year and has been off medication for almost a year.

Two years ago, I worked on a national-level project and worked for three months. During that time, my first reaction when I woke up every day was "Can I stop living today?" When I complained to my friends, I was told, "You have already received such a high project bonus, so why are you so anxious?" Later, I simply stopped talking to others. I deliberately took a detour for twenty minutes after get off work every day, staring at the leaves of the sycamore tree swaying in the wind. I didn't think about anything. After walking for almost a month, I slowly recovered.

In fact, in the final analysis, relieving anxiety and depression is never about finding the "most correct" template and applying it. You don't have to force yourself to be the same as others. Some people get better by running marathons, and some people get better by petting cats at home every day. Even if you get better by lying down and watching Pleasant Goat for ten minutes every day, this is the answer that is most suitable for you. Don’t hold on when you really can’t hold it anymore. Go find a professional doctor or a reliable consultant. It’s really not a big deal.