Psychologically stressed people

People with psychological stress are never a special group who "think too much" or are "too fragile". Instead, they are common across all age groups and in all professional fields. There is no universal stress relief solution. The core criterion for all coping methods is "whether it gives you a real sense of relaxation."

The Internet operations girl who was in the consultation room last week had three unfinished cans of iced Americano stuffed in her bag when she walked in. The first thing she said when she sat down was, "I had to set the alarm for half an hour even if I cried last week. After I cried, I had to get up and write a weekly review." She searched a bunch of "stress relief guides" before coming here. She tried getting up at 6 a.m. for a morning jog, going for a mindfulness meditation class after get off work, and even forced herself not to drink milk tea for two weeks. As a result, she became more and more tired. In the end, she came home from get off work for three consecutive days and sat on the sofa and watched 10 episodes of the childhood cartoon "Digimon" before she felt that the breath that had been blocked in her chest for half a month was relieved.

This is actually the misunderstanding that many people have when facing stress nowadays: they always feel that they need to find "more advanced" and "healthier" solutions, but instead turn stress relief itself into a new source of stress. The academic community has yet to come to a conclusion on the optimal way to deal with stress: consultants from the cognitive behavioral school will recommend that you list all stress sources on paper, break them down into implementable solution steps one by one, and turn vague anxieties into concrete to-do items. ； Researchers in the mindfulness school advocate not fighting stress. Even sitting and feeling the physiological reaction of tightness in the chest and cold fingertips is better than forcing yourself to "not be anxious." ； There is also the "meaning school" that has emerged in recent years. I simply suggest that you don't think about how to eliminate stress, and instead do something completely useless that you just like, such as squatting on the side of the road and counting ants for half an hour, or building Lego without drawings for three hours. Once the sense of meaning comes back, the stress will naturally subside.

That’s not to say that these methods are suitable for everyone. I have seen a young man in sales run five kilometers according to the "exercise decompression" mentioned on the Internet. During the run, his mind was full of thoughts such as "What should I do if my performance is still 20% short of this month?" ； Brother Zhang, who runs a fruit shop downstairs in the community, is worried about rising rents and the tuition fees for his children to enter junior high school. His way to relieve stress is neither exercise nor meditation. He just sits in the garage for twenty minutes after closing the stall every day, smokes two cigarettes, listens to two crosstalks by Guo Degang, thinks about nothing, and can sleep peacefully when he returns home.

The data from the National Mental Health Report released by the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in 2023 is here: the stress level of the 18-35 year old group is the highest among all adult groups. The top three stressors are financial income, career development and interpersonal relationships. Nearly 30% of people report that they have chronic stress that lasts for more than three months. But you have to know that not all stress has to be "eliminated" - it is essentially the body's own early warning mechanism, just like the water in your bag. When the bottle is half full, it can help you regain your focus and walk more steadily. Only when the water is too full and spills on your clothes, do you need to stop and pour some out. If you are just catching up on a project or unable to sleep or eat for three to five days before an exam, that is a normal acute stress reaction. It will naturally subside when the incident has passed. There is no need to label yourself as having a "psychological problem." ； Only when this state lasts for more than three months, and you no longer have any interest in your favorite hot pot or your favorite singer's concert, or even find it difficult to get up and wash up, then you need to talk to a professional.

I have been in this business for six years, and I have seen some people relieve stress by feeding stray cats, some people relieve stress by crushing useless express boxes one by one, and some people relieve stress by copying half a book of poems from "Dream of Red Mansions". There is really no more noble method than any other. Don't force yourself to be an emotionless robot just because you listen to what is said on the Internet: "Excellent people learn to manage their emotions." Even if you can feel comfortable squatting on the roadside and eating a popsicle, that's the best way for you. After all, what can catch your emotions are always the little quirks you are most used to, not the standard answers from others.