Humorous jokes about fitness in the gym

All the humorous jokes that can spread in the fitness circle are not made up out of thin air. They are all accumulated from the pitfalls that fitness people have stepped on, died in society, and fished. They are essentially "emotional antihypertensive drugs" for everyone to fight against the pain of masturbating.

When I entered the gym for the first time, I made a three-day guide. I even checked out the "Beginner's Guide to Not Being Sociable" about what socks to wear. I specially picked a time in the afternoon on weekdays when there were the least people and rushed to the strength area. As a result, I just reached the third set of deadlifts.

There was a quarrel in the fitness circle over this kind of jokes before. Some serious professional bloggers said that such funny content weakened the professionalism of fitness, making the public think that fitness is a joke, which is not conducive to novices establishing a correct understanding. But ordinary fitness enthusiasts don’t accept this at all. After all, whoever is holding on to the stair railing after doing leg exercises is forced to move half a bottle of calcium tablets by the grandma downstairs and asks, "Why does this young man have osteoporosis at such a young age?" He has no intention of talking about sports science, so he takes out his mobile phone and posts this paragraph to WeChat Moments and laughs for half an hour. Oh, by the way, the blogger who said this was later photographed walking around after doing hip exercises, like an old hen that had just laid an egg, wandering to a convenience store to buy iced Coke. That picture is still a weekly meme among many fitness groups.

The fitness measuring machine in the gym is definitely a hot spot for meme. Last time I climbed 20 floors to the gym, and after taking off my shoes and standing there for thirty seconds, the screen popped up, "High body fat rate, excessive visceral fat, and risk of fatty liver." I put the two uneaten tea eggs in my bag in the morning on the machine, and it directly said "Customized personal training plan recommended for moderate obesity." The girl waiting for the physical measurement next to me laughed so much that she threw away the sports water bottle in her hand. If I hadn't known that the body tester originally relied on bioelectrical impedance estimation data, and the error could fluctuate by 5%, I would have almost been forced by the salesperson to pay a deposit.

There is also the joke about novices having no concept of weight. Last week I met a little brother who came to practice squats wearing fashionable brand sneakers. I saw the big guy next to me carrying 200kg and squatting easily, so I added two 20's to the bar. Kana couldn't get up even though he was squatting halfway, and his face felt like a ripe tomato. When the personal trainer ran over to help him, he said harshly: "It's not that I can't get up, I'm just trying to see if this weight can press down on my new shoes." ”

Oh, yes, don’t think that only novices can create memes. There are more memes among veterans who have been practicing for three to five years. My friend has had a fitness card for three years and has gone there 17 times in total: 8 times to take a shower, 5 times because there is no place to use the air conditioning and play mobile games in summer, 3 times to accompany a blind date to visit the gym, and the remaining time was when the gym held a carton of milk during its anniversary celebration and made a three-kilometer detour to get it. In the end, when the gym closed down and the salesperson called him to refund the 200 yuan balance, he even forgot that he had even applied for this card.

There is also the routine of making an appointment with a friend to work out: the two of them make an appointment to meet at two o'clock in the afternoon, sit in the rest area for half an hour and order milk tea, then find a mirror with good lighting to take three selfies, retouch the pictures for 20 minutes and post on WeChat Moments with the caption "Today is also a day of self-discipline". The remaining ten minutes wander to the aerobic area and ride the elliptical machine for five minutes. Finally, they pat their thighs and say, "I have consumed too much protein after training, so I have to eat hot pot to replenish my body."

In fact, to put it bluntly, the gym has never been an elite place where only self-disciplined masters can stay. It is just a place where ordinary people work hard to change for the better. There are ruthless people who push the weights, and there are also happy players who fish and paddle. Those jokes that make people laugh so hard that they slap their legs. In the final analysis, they are just crushing those embarrassing, embarrassing, and lazy moments on the fitness road to have some fun. After all, compared to the dead goal of "must develop eight-pack abs and peach butt", being able to persevere happily is the ultimate meaning of fitness for most ordinary people.