Stress Management Training Methods

The core logic of all the evidence-based and effective stress management training you can access now is never to "eliminate stress", but to first anchor your own stress triggering mechanism, physiological and psychological linkage paths, and then match the corresponding intervention actions. There is no one-size-fits-all solution that applies to everyone.

A while ago, I helped a friend who was an e-commerce operator sort out her stress problem. She spent almost 2,000 yuan on various stress management courses, including 478 breathing techniques, 10-minute mindfulness meditation, and stress diary templates. However, during the Double Eleven sales last year, the more she adjusted her breathing according to the methods in the class, the more panicked she became. In the end, she even developed an extra layer of anxiety because "I can't even manage my stress well." Don't tell me, this situation is really too common. Many people just use methods to manage stress without understanding where their stress comes from.

There is currently a lot of disagreement between academic circles and practical circles on the path of stress intervention. The mainstream group is the supporters of "physiology first". They believe that all emotional stress is essentially a by-product of physiological reactions - soaring cortisol levels, unconscious tightening of shoulder and neck muscles, and accelerated heartbeat. These physiological changes occur before emotional feelings, so intervention must first start with regulating the physical state. For example, when acute stress strikes, many people will recommend progressive muscle relaxation, which is to gradually tighten and relax the muscles from the toes to the top of the head. This can slow down an excessively fast heart rate in as little as 3 minutes. ； There are also "5-minute burst exercise methods" recommended by many fitness bloggers. When the pressure is too great to sit still, do 20 burpees and jump for 1 minute with leg raises to directly consume the soaring cortisol, and the effect is immediate. However, many scholars who study chronic stress do not agree with this "temporary fire-fighting" method. Their data shows that for people who have been under high pressure for several months, temporary exercise can relieve their mood for up to half an hour. To lower the baseline stress level, long-term exercise is still needed. Regular cardiopulmonary training, such as jogging and swimming for more than 30 minutes three times a week. I have done relevant tests with the research team of the university psychology center before. I have been jogging for a month. The previous problems of being inexplicably flustered and sweaty palms at 3 pm have never happened again.

Researchers from the cognitive-behavioral school are more inclined to solve problems from the thinking level, which is what everyone often hears as "cognitive restructuring." Many people mistakenly think that cognitive restructuring is the Ah Q spirit of self-comfort. In fact, it is not at all. Its core is to bring your uncontrolled catastrophic imagination back to reality. For example, if you have three urgent tasks on hand and your boss keeps reminding you on WeChat, your first reaction is most likely "I will definitely not be able to complete it, I will be fired, and I will not be able to pay the rent next month." Cognitive restructuring does not force you to think "I am the best and I can do it", but it allows you to break it. Calculate it clearly on your fingers: two of the three tasks are similar projects that have been done before and can be completed in 2 hours at most. For the remaining difficult task, you can ask colleagues in the next group for a template from last year. In total, it can be completed in 4 hours at most. Most of the previous anxiety was caused by scaring myself. Of course, there are many people who object to this method. Many consultants who do clinical consultation feel that people have no energy to mobilize rational thinking at the peak of stress. Forcing oneself to do cognitive reconstruction will only produce a sense of guilt "Why am I so irrational?" It is better to allow yourself to curse for 10 minutes and throw two worthless pillows to vent, and then talk about anything else.

There are also many practical people who don't talk about these theories at all. Their method is simple and crude: when the pressure is too great to move, don't think about it, just do the first and smallest thing first. Don't think "I want to finish all the work", just turn on the computer first, type the first line of words, wash the dishes that have been piled up for three days, many times as long as you move, most of the anxiety hanging in the air will fall to the ground. When I was working on my graduation thesis, I was so stressed that I lay in bed all day long, scrolling through my phone until I was in a panic. Finally, I forced myself to get up and type out a title for my thesis. As a result, my ideas flowed smoothly, and I wrote more than 3,000 words in one afternoon, which was 10,000 times more effective than lying down and internalizing it. Of course, this method is also controversial. Many scholars who study mindfulness believe that this method of "relying on action to divert attention" is essentially to avoid the source of stress. This time I avoided it by rushing to work, and I will still be anxious next time I encounter something. It is better to spend 5 minutes to sit down and figure out whether I am afraid of not writing a good paper or being afraid of the instructor's criticism. It is useful to find the root cause and then solve it.

Oh, by the way, I have saved a few side tricks, and they work well for me anyway. If I encounter sudden acute stress, such as about to give a speech on stage or have a meeting with a difficult client, I will take out the mints in my pocket and bite them into pieces. The cool breath will flow from my throat to my nose, and my attention can be brought back from the panic in an instant. It is better than any breathing method.； If I feel unmotivated and tired of doing anything for a week or two in a row, I will skip work on a weekday afternoon and sit in the park for half an hour. I will do nothing but watch the grandparents play chess, watch the children chasing each other, and listen to the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves for half an hour, and I will feel relaxed.

You really don’t have to force yourself to follow other people’s templates. Some people reduce stress by meditating, and some people reduce stress by complaining to friends. As long as it makes you feel comfortable and won’t harm yourself or others, they are all good methods. After all, stress management is, in the final analysis, just learning to take good care of yourself.