Stress Management Workshop

It can’t help you clear the work on your to-do list, it can’t make your critical boss suddenly easy-going, and it can’t make you worry about nothing anymore. Its real function is to teach you how to deal with stress as a "shared roommate" - you don't have to force yourself to be a best friend with him who talk about everything, and you don't have to struggle to kick him out every day. Find a boundary that is comfortable for both parties, and you can live your life.

I have led this type of workshop for almost five years, and I have seen too many people clutching their phones and frowning as soon as they walked in. Last month at an Internet company fair, Xiao Meng, who works in operations, was sitting in the front row. As soon as he introduced himself, tears fell down. He said that he had changed the 8-page activity plan the day before but was rejected. After work, he took the subway to the transfer station and squatted on the platform for half an hour and cried before he dared to go home. He was afraid that his eyes would be swollen and his parents would ask questions.

The stress management workshops on the market now actually take two completely different paths, and sometimes there will be fights when colleagues get together. One group is cognitive-behavioral, focusing on "problem solving": Are you under a lot of pressure? Come, let's break down your stress sources clearly. The catastrophic thinking of "I'm going to be doomed" can be broken down as soon as you poke it. After breaking it down, you can directly give action steps, and you will see results after you finish them. The other group is righteous, and they solve problems when they arise most: Your emotions are so strong that you can’t solve them. Sit down first and do a body scan for 10 minutes. Feel if your shoulders are as hard as bricks and your back molars are clenched. Let your emotions go out first, and put everything else to the back. There was an industry salon before. Two teachers from different schools shared the same stage. After the end, they choked in private for almost half an hour. The cognitive school said that mindfulness is "treating the symptoms rather than the root causes and avoiding problems." The mindfulness school said that the cognitive school was "still being led by the logic of pressure and has not jumped out at all."

When I lead my own workshops, I never stick to a certain school, as long as it works. Let’s go back to Xiao Meng. After she cried that day, I didn’t rush to remove any sources of stress for her. I led the audience to do breathing exercises for 5 minutes. I just stared at the tip of my nose and felt the cold air coming in and the warm air coming out. I didn’t need to think about anything else. After she finished, she wiped her tears and said, "I just realized that my shoulders are so stiff that I can't even press them. I've been stiff for almost three days." After she calmed down, we sat down together to review the 8-version plan, only to find that she changed the font, color, and layout every time. She never asked the leader what she thought was wrong. She took out her mobile phone and sent a message to the leader on the spot: "Brother Wang, do you think the core problem of the previous plan was the wrong direction or the wrong presentation method? I will make adjustments to be more reasonable." In less than 10 minutes, the leader responded and said that what he wanted was the design of the path to attract new conversions, not fancy renderings. She was relieved on the spot and said, "I have been working around for almost a week, and I don't even understand what the problem is."

The workplace stress survey data released by the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in 2023 is actually quite telling. 76.5% of people in the workplace are in a state of moderate or above stress. More than 60% of them have tried self-regulation but it is useless. Most of them are in two extremes: either they carry it hard and collapse after holding it in;

When I was working for a state-owned enterprise before, there was a department director in his 40s. He sat up straight as soon as he entered the door and said, "I'm not really stressed, but I haven't been sleeping well recently." As a result, he did a small activity called "Pressure Embodiment" and he drew a high pressure with the valve open. There was a pot with a crooked word next to it, "There are old people at the top and small ones at the bottom, and there are quarterly KPIs in the middle." After drawing it, I felt happy and said, "I haven't told anyone this for a long time. I have to hold on to it at work and when I go home. I forgot that I still have so many troubles." At the end of the day, he came over to tell me that he actually fell asleep for 10 minutes while doing mindfulness exercises, which was the deepest 10 minutes of sleep he had in the past three months.

Many people asked me before attending the workshop if I had any "universal decompression tool". I really don't have one. I have seen people feel refreshed after running 3 kilometers around the company when they are stressed out, while others feel out of breath after running two steps. Some people write an emotional diary and smooth it out after half a month. Some people find it troublesome to write only two words and want to throw away the pen. Our workshops never give you standard answers, but give you an unburdened "trial and error field" where you can try to breathe, try telling your worries to a stranger, or tear up a note full of stress and throw it in the trash. There is always something suitable for you.

Last week I received a WeChat message from Xiao Meng, saying that she has now learned how to cope with pressure. She asks clearly about the core demands before changing the plan every time. She has basically been able to pass the last two editions, and she even won the performance star of the department last month. She also said that now every time her shoulders feel tight, she knows that her "stressful roommate" is here again, so she just fishes for three minutes, rolls her eyes and rubs her shoulders twice, and then waits for him to calm down before working again. There is no need to chase him away, since he will slip away after a short time. You see, there is no such thing as a 100% stress-free life. It's just about finding a comfortable way to get along.