Self-healing meditation guide

First, bring your attention back to your current breathing and take three deep abdominal breaths, then acknowledge without judgment that all your emotions at the moment are not right or wrong, and finally say to yourself in your heart, "I allow myself to be like this now." If you close your eyes and try it once, you will feel the tightness in your chest relax by half a minute in one minute.

The first time I came across this method was when I was working as an e-commerce operator in an Internet company three years ago. During the 618 big sale, I only slept 3 hours a day for 7 consecutive days. I stared at the abnormally beating order data in the background. My heart was beating so fast that it was coming out of my throat. I couldn't suppress the nausea even after drinking two glasses of iced Americano. At that time, a colleague who worked with me and had studied mindfulness for five years came over and read the three sentences into my ear in the noisy office area. I stood next to the work station with my eyes closed for a minute, and the anger of "I was about to explode and throw the keyboard" was mostly dissipated.

Many people have asked me before, is it true that only sitting cross-legged and completely emptying the mind can be called "correct meditation"? He said that he had been sitting for ten minutes with his to-do list in his mind, and that the more he sat there, the more annoyed he became. This is not the case at all. In fact, the practice requirements of different meditation schools are very different. There is no need to hold yourself to others' standards. The traditional Vipassana school indeed places more emphasis on a fixed duration of practice and a relatively closed and quiet environment. It requires you to dig deep along your emotions to find the source of trauma that has been hidden in your subconscious for a long time and then slowly sort it out. It is suitable for people who have long-term meditation habits and want to deeply deal with deep emotional problems such as childhood trauma. ； Mindfulness meditation, which is the most popular among the public now, was originally designed for ordinary people to adjust their daily emotions. You can do it while waiting in line for milk tea, holding a long and unnutritious regular meeting, or even squatting on the toilet. The core is "non-judgment". You don't have to force yourself to think about nothing in your mind. Your thoughts will go to next week's work report. Just gently pull back to your breathing. There is no such thing as "right or wrong". ； There is also a school of transpersonal psychology that focuses on the body and soul, which will encourage you to connect with the true feelings of your body. When meditating, you can allow yourself to shed tears if you feel wronged. If you feel angry, clench your fists and then release them. There is no need to force yourself to "calm down" immediately. On the contrary, it is more suitable for people who have accumulated emotions for a long time and are used to suppressing their feelings.

I have saved several versions of guide words for different scenarios in the past few years. I never stick to a fixed template. I just choose and use it based on the current situation. Last week, I worked overtime until two o'clock. I changed the 8th version of the activity plan but was still rejected by the client. I sat in a taxi and watched the warm yellow street lights on the roadside running backwards. I couldn't help but shed tears. I breathed slowly with the rhythm of the car and said in my heart: "I feel very wronged now. I feel that my efforts have not been seen. It doesn't matter. The grievance is normal. I allow myself to cry. I am here to accompany myself." ”With just a few words, I was completely calm when I got home. I didn't go in and throw my bag away and then collapse on the floor crying for half the night like before. I had to go see a client with swollen eyes the next day.

Some friends also complained to me that they tried meditation, but it was completely useless. The more they sat, the more anxious they became. In fact, you don’t have to force yourself to “quiet down immediately.” When I participated in an offline meditation workshop before, the teacher said something very practical: “If your mind is full of unfinished things, then first notice, ‘Oh, I am thinking about the to-do list now. ”Many people's misunderstanding about self-healing is that you must get better and be happy immediately. In fact, this is not the case at all. The core of self-healing has never been "eliminating bad emotions", but that you no longer regard bad emotions as enemies to be chased away. You just stand next to it and stay with it for a while, and it will go away after it has had enough.

Oh, by the way, I have to mention that there are some statements on the Internet that praise meditation too much. They say that meditation can solve all life problems. They are all deceptive. I once had a friend who was broken up in love and meditated for four or five hours every day at home with the door closed. He felt that as long as he was "mindful" enough, he would not suffer. As a result, he became more and more avoidant of reality, and even refused to go out to dinner with friends. No matter which genre of meditation, it is essentially just a tool for emotional adjustment. You can't rely on it to avoid the work that needs to be done, the people that need to say goodbye, and the problems that need to be solved. It just helps you loosen the string that is about to break, so that you have enough strength to face these things.

I always keep a lime-flavored mint candy in my bag now. Sometimes when I encounter something particularly bad, I hold the candy in my mouth and feel the coolness of the mint slowly spread on my tongue. I take three deep breaths and read the first three sentences again, which is like pressing the pause button on my racing emotions. Really, self-healing has never been a lofty thing. You don’t need to be a meditation master, nor do you need to practice to a certain level. You just need to be willing to stop and spend one more second with yourself when your emotions come up. That’s enough.