What are the differences between parenting and child health?

The core difference between the two is that the category boundaries and implementation logic are completely different. Parenting is a systematic parenting practice that covers the entire stage of children from birth to adulthood. Children's health is the core basic indicator within the category of parenting. The essence of the two is the relationship between inclusion and inclusion, and they are by no means parallel concepts.

I have been working as a community parenting guide for four years, and I have met too many parents who confuse the two. Last time in the community, a grandma chased her grandson to feed her grandson who had just started kindergarten. She said, "Eat more to grow stronger, and my parenting is better." The young mother next to me complained, "Only when the baby can eat by himself can he develop his independent abilities. What you are saying is just to ensure that he is not hungry, which is not parenting at all." The two of them argued for almost ten minutes. The essence of it is that they have different perceptions of the boundaries between the two.

To use a popular analogy, parenting is like running a small cafe open in an alley. Children's health is the store's health license and the shelf life of ingredients. It is a red line that must not be touched. Without these, the store would not be able to open. But if you want the store to do well, you have to research tastes, organize small activities, and chat with regular customers. These operational actions beyond the red line are habits cultivation, character shaping, and interest guidance in parenting.

It's interesting to say that the criteria for judging children's health are actually very "dead". What is the median height and weight at any age, the extent of gross motor development, and whether there are pathological emotional abnormalities? These can all be clearly determined by the pediatrician's evaluation and clinical data. If the line is crossed, intervention is needed. There is nothing to argue about. But there is never a standard answer to parenting. Some families value academic ability and take their children to picture book libraries from an early age. Some families like to go outdoors and take their children to mountain climbing and camping every week. As long as they do not touch the red line of health, any parenting method makes sense. There is no need to compete.

Nowadays, there are actually different voices in the parenting circle and academia. One group believes that ordinary parents do not need to spread the boundaries of parenting too wide. It is enough to keep the bottom line of children's health. Too many fancy parenting techniques can easily create anxiety and burden both children and parents.； There is also another group of people who believe that the current social environment has high demands on children's comprehensive abilities, and health is just the ticket. It is necessary to build a good ability framework for children above the bottom line, so that they can be more calm in the future. Both of these views are actually valid. After all, every family has different parenting goals, so there is no need to force uniformity.

A while ago, a mother came to me for consultation. She said that her child had just entered elementary school and she had enrolled in 4 extracurricular classes. She had been complaining of headaches recently. She went to the hospital for a checkup and found no organic problems. The pediatrician said that she was too stressed and didn't get enough sleep, so she wanted to reduce the number of extracurricular classes. She struggled for a long time and said, "Other people's babies are like this." "If my family can't keep up, will they be unable to keep up?" In fact, this is a typical example of putting the priority of child care before children's health, which reverses the relationship between the two. Health is always 1 in the front, and abilities and grades in the back are all 0. Without the 1 in the front, no more 0's in the back are useless.

In fact, for ordinary parents, there is no need to draw too thin the boundary between the two. Pay more attention to the child's status. If the height and weight are normal and happy every day, the bottom line of health is maintained. How to raise the rest, just follow the child's rhythm and combine it with your own situation. There is no need to follow other people's parenting templates.