Children's Mental Health Day

Children's psychological and emotional problems are never "hypocritical", "disobedient" or "habitual problems". They are common health problems that need to be taken seriously and intervened like colds and fevers - this is the only core of all science popularization, discussions and activities on this day.

Last week, I met a third-grade boy at a psychological service station in the community. He was dragged in by his mother. As soon as he sat down, his mother started to scold him: "The teacher said that he has been distracted in class recently, and he can't finish his homework until twelve o'clock. He throws things after saying a few words. Last week, I threw away the Ultraman Card that he had saved for half a year, and he became even more rebellious. Do you think he has any psychological problems?" ”The little boy stood nearby with his head down and picking his fingers, tears welling up in his eyes. He held back the words "I didn't mean it" for a long time.

After asking his mother for ten minutes alone, he found out that last week he won a limited number of Seroka cards at the school canteen and was snatched away by a senior student. He didn't dare to tell the teacher, and he was afraid that his parents would say that he "knew it was useless to play all day long."

In fact, there have always been two schools of thought in the child psychological intervention circle that are not completely consistent. One school is more psychoanalytically oriented and believes that most children’s emotional problems have deep-seated causes. The root cause must be found first and then rectified. Otherwise, it will treat the symptoms rather than the root cause.； The other group is more cognitive-behavioral. They feel that there is no need to dig so deep first. First, adjust the abnormal behavior at the moment, and the emotions will naturally calm down. I have been doing child psychology work for so many years, and I really feel that there is no need to argue about who is right and who is wrong. For this little boy, the root cause was that his card was robbed and he was wronged. We accompanied him to find the class teacher to coordinate and get the card back. We also told his parents not to throw away his collection casually in the future. In the afternoon, he jumped home with his mother and even took the initiative to complete the homework he had left behind. But when you encounter a child who has been tired of studying for more than half a year and even has a tendency to self-harm, you really need to help him establish a regular schedule, use small positive feedback to bring his emotions back to a normal range, and then slowly talk about the reasons behind it. It is easy to cause problems if you dig into the scars.

Last year, our district conducted a free emotional screening for 1,200 primary school students in grades 1-6. Nearly 18% of the children had varying degrees of anxiety and depression. Only less than 30% of the parents noticed any abnormalities. The remaining 70% of parents either felt that their children were "too naughty" or "lazy", or they felt that "there are no worries about children, and they will be fine in two days."

Yesterday I went to pick up my niece from school. At the school gate, I heard two grandmas picking up their children chatting. One of them said, "Children these days are so spoiled. We were so hungry back then that we didn't have any psychological problems. We were just free." In fact, this is not an old man being unreasonable. Each generation has its own upbringing environment. When we were young, we could run around the yard after finishing our homework. No one was watching to see how many scores you scored or whether you won competition prizes. Nowadays, children start attending interest classes at the age of three. They are ranked in the first grade of elementary school. Even when they play, they have to be arranged by their parents for "meaningful activities." The pressure came more than ten years earlier than we did at that time. How can we use the old calendar to describe today's days.

When I do popular science for parents, I never talk about a bunch of unintelligible professional terminology. I will teach you the simplest judgment standard: if the child has lost interest in the things he liked to do for more than two weeks in a row, and his eating and sleeping habits have suddenly changed, and he either can't sleep or can't wake up after sleeping for more than ten hours, don't hesitate to ask the school's psychology teacher or a child psychologist in a regular organization. It is a hundred times more effective than scolding him at home and telling a lot of truths.

In fact, Children's Mental Health Day is really not a grand holiday that needs to be held. To put it bluntly, it is just a reminder to all adults. Oh, by the way, if you happened to read this article today and don’t know what to do for your child, why not put down your phone when you get home from get off work, squat down and look at your child at eye level and ask: “Is there anything you want to say recently that makes us angry? ” Maybe it will make him happier than how many toys you buy him or how many interest classes you sign up for.